Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
