i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
