i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
