I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
