i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
