I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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