i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
