wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
