She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
