Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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