I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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