fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
