dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
