just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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