Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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