I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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