she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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