You're my little dorito
That reminds me...we need to get swords
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
