Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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