i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
