i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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