Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
