My brain says no but my pants say off.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
