sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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