We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
