it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize