you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Drunk is not a location!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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