i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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