If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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