its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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