So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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