Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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