You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
