you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
