I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
