I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
