Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize