literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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