You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
