Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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