So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize