If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
