I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
