I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
