return my video game
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
