You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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