he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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