Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
