woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
