guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize