this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize