But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
