How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
