No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
