You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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