it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
