i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
