Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
