i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
