This girl is more easily done than said...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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