I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
