Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
