Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
