How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
