I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
