Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
